What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
