2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
