I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
