Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The air was thick with penises
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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