I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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