I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize