Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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