So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
