I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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