Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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