i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Found your dick twin last night
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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