i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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