Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
