I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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