when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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