all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
