The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
