These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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