ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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