were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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