We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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