so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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