so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
