Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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