she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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