I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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