I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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