Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
