last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.