My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip