yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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