Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.