Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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