There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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