I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
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"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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