He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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