we have pet lesbian snakes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
