We're facebook friends in real life
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
