I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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