I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
