Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think your dad took our porno
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
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I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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