If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
