OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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