this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
