I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
