do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize