We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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