Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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