Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
