TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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