Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
