Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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