I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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