I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize