South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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