Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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