All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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