Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
