operation harelip BJ is a go
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42ā€¯ tv lol
Randomize
