Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
