Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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