Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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