Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I hope mine doesn't look like that
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
