Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
