nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
